Whew! Wedding planning is WERK! Especially if you go from BBQ to Boujee Boat Wedding like we did. #TrueSTORY
I haven’t blogged in so long partly because of our wedding plans changed quite a bit when a few things fell through, and mostly because I take serious consideration and time into my blog posts. I thoroughly enjoy filming videos, editing and sharing them here. Although uploading to YT is like trying to run a Boston Marathon *not that I’ve done that, but I can imagine it’s tough* with a weighted vest.
But with such an exciting time ahead of us, I figured I’d start ‘The Wedding Diaries’ and give you all an inside look at all the fun details, hilarious and not so hilarious moments.
First things first. My fiancé is without a doubt my dream man. If you want to read our mushy gushy love story, click here. I’m not even kidding when I say I will randomly tear up when I talk about our wedding day; or the anticipation I feel to see all my friends and family, especially now that we are having a boat wedding.
These random cry sessions happen weekly.
I feel so incredibly grateful for him, his family and mine – they have been a big help in making this bougie boat wedding a dream come true. I’m also PMSing so I’m crying at random commercials and puppy photos. So yeah go read our engagement story.
Second … I wasn’t the bride who wanted a big party. I actually wanted to avoid walking down an aisle. I didn’t even want to have a reception. Yes, this is true. Looking back, I’ve had a complete change of heart and I want to explain to my second-time-around future wifey’s and fiancés what I was experiencing emotionally.
Now let me preface this blog post by saying BBQ weddings are awesome, big bougie weddings are awesome, and quick court house weddings and elopements are awesome too!
Why? Because we are getting MARRIED folks! The wedding is a celebration of a life long commitment of our partnership to that very special person who is ready to tolerate our crazy, love us through it and wants to create memories with us! This was my first and foremost goal before planning a wedding.
So how did I go from not wanting a wedding to #DuckIt lets party on a boat?!
Good question. I had a change in perspective. It took time, and a little bit of struggle (kind of like a straight jacket with my emotions), and convincing that my way of thinking wasn’t always right. Go figure.
Deep deeeeeep down, I felt I didn’t really deserve it. There, I said it. That whole ‘not good enough’ thing can show in the weirdest of places. I knew that my man was worth it, although he could care less (or so he says, I think deep down he wanted a wedding but was ‘going with the flow’), but I felt like since I was already married and did the whole wedding thing, (once upon a time when I was 18) that I didn’t get to have a second wedding.
I’ve heard that moms with 2nd, 3rd, 4th children have felt this way about baby showers. I didn’t get it and still don’t and now I see how that kind of thinking can actually make you miss out on HUGE life milestones!
Another worry that I harbored that many brides experience is the sense of overwhelm of saying hello to everyone, playing host, and not really have a minute to enjoy the evening.
Side note: I’m what you’d call an extroverted introvert. I can be the life of the party until I’m just done. Back in my ‘going out days’ I’d be having a great time, and then BOOM, I’m just done. I need to take my makeup off, eat a burger and pass out.
And while this is a valid concern, I believe that at some point, the people pleasing has to be dealt with. As a former people pleaser, I’ve learned that I can’t make everyone happy, and trying to do so often leaves me depleted of my own joy.
So while I will totally enjoy saying hello to everyone, Im not going to worry about anyone except my hunny buns.
So how did I get over this ‘not worthy BS’ thought process?
I had to look at the 18 year old Abby without judgement, realize that while I had good intentions, and although the marriage didn’t work out (but ended amicably), I couldn’t put a check mark in a box for that life’s milestone assuming that I couldn’t experience it again. Plus, that truly isn’t fair to my darling Daniel…. and I really hope he cries when he sees me walk down the aisle (babe, if you are reading this, you better!!).
While there are hints of the 18 year old Abby, the kind hearted, caring, sweet, but naive girl, I have wisened up quite a bit. Thank you personal growth, without it, I’d never be the Abby that would have attracted the Daniel I know (and same goes for him).
10 years later, here I am, happy and secure in who I’m becoming. Having gone through some of life’s curveballs, I don’t consider myself ‘all knowing’.
However I have much more clarity surrounding who I am, what I want, and with more appreciation and admiration for relationships built on solid foundations of commitment, trust, honesty, faith, courage, and willingness to take this big giant leap of forever together.
Our wedding is the sweet memory-in-the-making to party, celebrate, laugh and cry with the people who love us most in this world while we embark on our new adventure together as husband and wife, and that thought alone was what gave me the courage to say,
‘HELL YES BOOK THAT BOAT!!’
So we went from ‘babe lets just have something small, like a BBQ’ to ‘So we gana book this boat or what?!’ and I wouldn’t change it for the world!
We will boarding The Newport Princess Friday, August 11th at 6PM to set sail on life’s greatest adventure. #LOVE
Stay tuned for PART II on all our wedding details… yep, sharing all the love and fun with you guys and gals! Like.. is there a wedding party? Are we doing on a honeymoon immediately after? Do we want kids? I figure I may as well answer some of the most asked questions 😉